INHALE

I lite a dutch inhale and gravitate to a level,where my thoughts have begun to settle,realizing that the world is just "one big ghetto",

i wounder could i be its slumdog millionaire, like an uncrowned king carving a throne out of a chair, taking the good with the evil knowing life is never fair, example number one my real pops was never there, or rather here, for ME!

so some days its difficult for me to see, myself becoming everything that HE, could NEVER NEVER be,some days i wounder why does he neglect me, who I've grown to be is beautiful how could he not accept me?,

some days i feel like the whole entire world is sane except me, not to mention the days when even i reject me, cant bare my own reflection disgusted by what i see, the surrogate or an avatar of a man afraid to be what he was meant to be, and that leads to the secondary question of "was it meant to be", am i meant to fulfill the greatness inside me?, i walk this path alone with no one besides me, and some days that leaves me besides me, its like never finding the lock after you just found the key, or the feeling you get when stranded at sea, some days i feel it in the air it even suffocates me,some days I am in search of intervention, some days it even hurts for me to mention, the fact i once suffered from depression, or maybe i still do, because to be honest Ive yet to encounter my clear view, of the way you are supposed to view you,i just got to understanding i have value, this process takes times and it was recommended to not breeze through, so I'm taking my time despite being see through, i was instructed never force the world to see you, and despite all the personas JUST BE YOU!, wait your turn and the day will come where your no longer invisible, cherish those moments or forever remain miserable, without a memory or recollection of who you are, you'll look in the mirror and ask just who are you?,impersonation my reflection, searching your mental Rolodex for the slightest connection, of affection for the visual impersonating your reflection, but you cant find one, then it dawns, your farther from who you want to be then you are from the sun, that's 93 million and one, miles traveled so far beyond the tribulations and the trials, while dodging the obscene and side stepping the vile,just to feel the warmth of a bright smile....