I Question

i question when i die will i return?,
and if so then can i come back my lessons already learned?,
BUT I've discerned, that i cant revel in what i have not earned!,
like walking through the fire withstanding heat but not getting burned,
as i look back thinking maybe i should have turned,
and headed in a different direction,
towards the section where i kept a collection of my affection,
of natural selection, just in case the day comes where i cant recognize my own reflection,
because I've failed my own hearts inspection,
and remained asleep during my own resurrection,
terrified to test the limits of my own of protection.
which handicaps my version of my very own perfection,
picture being best friends with rejection,
then, picture meeting sorrow at every intersection,
after that, picture hatred at every interjection,
now paint for me my life's current complexion!,
what colors will you use how will you shade the imperfections?,
will you use light or dark hues?,
perhaps a variation of a combination of blues?