" I " Quote

"I am because I was--I was because I always will be,
I see because I feel--I feel because breathe ,
I love because I live--I live because love" -Ricardo

Miners (inspired by Bilal)

I question how the world could be fixated on the rescue of "coal miners" yet turn a cold shoulder to "inner city minors",

The school system claims that NO CHILD IS LEFT BEHIND!,
Then why are my peers the ones left in the mine!
Are we not worth the time?
Or is it like this by design?
We hail from the poorest neighborhoods-with the poorest schools-and receive a second rate education!,
If you ask me-not much has changed since segregation,
Change has been a long time coming like shit after constipation,
But change has come far and few in between yet we settle for the constellation...prize!
Living as second class citizens in a nation our ancestors built!!!

Dark Cloud

Staring at a bright sky with a dark cloud feeling all alone in the middle of a crowd,

Testing the boundaries of all that is allowed,
Feeling disgraced when i should be proud,
Even when I whisper my thoughts scream aloud,
I try to block them out when they shout at me,
But undoubtedly, they only shout what I already believe,
Even on the days when I felt naive,
And my priority was to leave,
Behind-all I search for but not allowed to find,
But this isn't your problem.......it's mine,
These are the thoughts reside in my mind,
An 80's baby living the sign of the times,
And the sign reads, every man bleeds what he really needs,
Some die by the gun others die on their knees,
Begging to their lord-please,
Heal humanities infectious disease,
It's called racism but it actually greed,
It's the bottom line to everything-even legal weed,
If there's no profit they won't plant a single seed!!

Realizations

My writing has undergone a transition and now it's major component is best described as a compilation of random realizations.
A lot has been starting to make sense to me now a days. It's almost like I've seen the "light" although somehow it still feels pitch black.
That's why these realizations mean more to me then any poem I've ever written.
These realizations bare a hint of an overtone that could one day make me as happy as I believe I deserve to be.
These realizations are like a mirror being held directly in front of my mind body and soul.
These realizations are granting me the serenity to cope with what I can't change.
These realizations are allowing me to see certain aspects of life for what they really are.
With all this said some of these realizations are not welcomed. Some of these realizations have enabled me to see sides of myself that I thought were long dead and gone.
Sides such as my lack of social development. It's that same lack of social development that has in the past and at times during the present made me feel like a social outcast.
Somehow as time has gone by I've manage to over look that social development. I cast it aside and convinced myself that it was irrelevant.
I told myself over and over and over again that I didn't need the world to "get me". It worked for a while, but having few people that understand you and comprehend your mindset and view point will turn you into a social misfit.
It will leave you feeling alone in a world that's over populated.
These realizations are a gift and a curse for they provide a light at the end of the tunnel yet remind me of how dark it still is inside that very tunnel.
I guess i have no choice, but to continue to realize what life is really about and shine bright for those around me stuck in darker places then I....

My Mask

I just came to the conclusion that I never took my mask off!!
I swapped it out!!
Staring at my reflection I can now see it's outlines!!
For the most part the mask I wear today is a little more socially acceptable!!
In the past people were terrified by my mask which intern made me terrified to show they the real me under my mask!!
I mean if you can't cope with the image I portray then how can I expect you to cope with the actual image of ME!!
But back to my old mask, some of my loved ones got so use to that mask they began to ignore the fact I was wearing one in the first place!!
For what it's worth the mask served it's purpose, it hid pain,depression and turmoil all alike!!
But I wore the same mask for too long!!
I attempted to take it off, what I saw was a beautiful ugly I wasn't sure anyone could bare so I convinced myself that another updated new and improved mask would now conceal the aspect of me I'm so desperately hiding from the world!!
That's when I found the mask I wear today!!
It was custom made by me for me!!
It was made to accent my good qualities and conceal my poor qualities!!
It was made so not even my best of friends or loveliest of lovers could notice Im wearing it!!
It was made to deceive those at first glance!!
My new mask gave me a temporary strength to face the world!!
The new mask fit better then the first one!!
But all in still whenever I would look in the mirror I still saw the same eyes!!
Those you can't mask and conceal!!
Those always tell the truth!!
So I decided to listen when my eyes told me that they knew I was wearing the mask and they would never look at me the same of I didn't take it off!!
Via a few blinks and a long stare me and my eyes went back and for until my eyes convinced me to no longer mask my actual identity!!
So I took my second mask off and I'm now showing a select few my actual appearance that extends far beyond physical!!
My question to you is do you like what you've begun to see,
Because me, ehhh I'm not sure yet!!
I'm my biggest critic therefore it will naturally take me longer to realize looking from inside out!!
But you, you looking from outside in,do you like what you've begun to see?
either way one thing is for sure..I'll never allow myself to forget how to make a convincing mask!!
I never know when if ever I'll need one again!!

LIES

Dumb genius moonlighting as a hateful lover a popular stranger terrified to go undercover...the deaf man hears no Lies,

Lies that feed the starving obese,
Lies that silence the voiceless,
Lies that cast shadows over your souls brightness,
Lies that speak with a deceitful cadence,
Lies that whisper at a horrifying tone,
Lies that make the world go round,
Lies that watered my eyes,
Lies that vanity serenades,
Lies that attempt to convince,
Lies that tell me "I'm true",
Lies that hug me,
Lies that shake my hand,
Lies that make eye contact
Lies that reproduce,
Lies that don't use contraception,
Lies that infect,
Lies told by so called revolutionaries,
Lies that enslave-Lies for free labor,
Lies told-Lies received-Lies sold,
Lies purchase by consumers,
Lies peddled by merchants,
Lies instilled in youth,
Lies instead of truth,
Lies written in the clouds,
Lies rain down,
Lies shine on me,
Lies on every screen you can conceive,
Lies over the airwaves,
Lies in mp3 formats,
welcome to the new era of digital Lies where Lies are created then those Lies destroyed only for the same Lies to be rebuilt!
ALL LIES!!

Debating Hate: (work in progress I'm sharing before completed)

My current mind state feels like having a verbal debate against hate,and hate arrived fashionable late,
so while hate made me wait i wisely used the extra time to manage and create,my argument as i used love to translate,the message in my heart.....please pardon me the debate is about to start,:

INTRODUCTIONS:

Announcer: On the side we Hate.

Hate: I'm here to oppress and manipulate!

Announcer: On this side we have...

Me: (clears throat) Man i represent the people,their pain is my pain our struggle is equal,...it's hereditary no more explanations necessary!

Announcer: Well those were pretty interesting introductions, from here on out please await my detailed instructions.

Announcer: Okay, so who would like to get us started?,

ME: Hate can go first!,

Hate: Good cus I've always been regarded as vengeful and cold hearted, but i am what i am and what the world needs to understand is that i can dwell even in heart of a good man!,

Me: But you created wars,slavery and genocide,you even made me contemplate social suicide,because you created races then pushed most to the side!,

Announcer: Whoa whoa whoa i can see tonight 2 completely different theories will collide,im now just a spectator
along for the ride let me move out of the way and step to the side!,

Hate: Why are you mad at me when man created me! Then man use me even with free will,so theirs no complaining about the victims I've inspired to kill,some didn't even need me ...they simply did it for the thrill,you'd be surprised what a man thinks as he watches blood spill!,

Me: Man created god from my point of view man created you but then man created love too!,and its up to every person to place love above you,see me i understand that some people are miserable and that makes it easier for them to give in to you,and they can choose to as an individual,but were all equal no man is divisible!!,...so how could you inspire the Three-fifths compromise?

Hate: Ahhhh those were the good ol days, back then i grew stronger with every sunrise and fathers use to want to see me in their sons eyes,see back then you didn't have to disguise me when you had me in your eyes,left to my devices i was allowed to improvise so i inspired the lawmakers to decriminalize....ME!

Me: That doesn't answer my question..

Hate: Well did you ever think about this?,...i didn't do it alone i had an accomplice by the name of prejudice!...why don't you go ask him about Schindler's list

New Beginnings Same Endings

new beginnings lead to old endings which leads me to defending my actions and what they were intending,because I'm spending entirely too much time mending,
a heart that sick and tired of sending,....LOVE,
while in return receiving notes that say pending!
I'm sick and tired of pretending that our befriending isn't overextending,
you made it this way don't ask why now,
you put on the performance of a lifetime please take a bow,
it was so convincing it compelled me to allow,
you into my heart in such a special way that from then until today,
its been damn near impossible to take away,
the effect that you had on me...but the subtraction is underway,
so i no longer have to underpay,....my hearts worth!

Pursuit of Perfection

i often question the relentless pursuit of perfection via a human resurrection of the over protection, of my goals which are viewed with a touch circumspection, as i elude the aggression that personifies my reflection, but in my solitude it offers me a correction while fine tuning my sense of direction, until my mind-thoughts-and heart become one!

Random Quote

"tomorrow is a repeat of today,and today was a repeat of yesterday,it feels like I'm sleep walking in broad day,i was born with such complex ways,I'm done reading but i cant turn to the next page,because I'm terrified of my next phase,unaware of from where ill receive my next praise,
i feel like an employee afraid to ask like for a raise,so i deal with the struggle and survive off crumbs it pays"

I Question

i question when i die will i return?,
and if so then can i come back my lessons already learned?,
BUT I've discerned, that i cant revel in what i have not earned!,
like walking through the fire withstanding heat but not getting burned,
as i look back thinking maybe i should have turned,
and headed in a different direction,
towards the section where i kept a collection of my affection,
of natural selection, just in case the day comes where i cant recognize my own reflection,
because I've failed my own hearts inspection,
and remained asleep during my own resurrection,
terrified to test the limits of my own of protection.
which handicaps my version of my very own perfection,
picture being best friends with rejection,
then, picture meeting sorrow at every intersection,
after that, picture hatred at every interjection,
now paint for me my life's current complexion!,
what colors will you use how will you shade the imperfections?,
will you use light or dark hues?,
perhaps a variation of a combination of blues?

Message To Her!!...

GIRL you have the same effect on my MIND that stars have on the universe when properly ALIGN!!
so how can i begin baby how do i begin to tell my life is the most that i can spend,
ON YOU!!
There is not a dollar bill in the world that could show you how i really feel,
no bank account that would kill for the way my heart could make you feel,
no one else world could make you ever feel as real,as a free agent you will never find a better deal,
THEN ME!!

Random Rant

i dont do what most of you do,
i am a member of the chosen few,
who,destiny is so overdue,
that i had to correct my once crooked point of view,
because i was lost like a persecuted wandering jew,
unaware of what i wanted or supposed to follow through,
due to that the amount of my questions are equivalent to,
the total population of poor people in Peru
most are basic like, why the fuck is the sky blue?,
how real is deja vu?, and
how natural is the swine flu?,
society will no longer subdue...ME! while feeding me a truth thats so untrue...SEE! what is a fantasy to YOU is a REALITY to ME!

In My Own World..

On a planet by myself where my existence is my wealth,
Escaped from everyone and everything I ever felt,
I was tired of rearranging the cards I was delt,
I just need a new beginning on another planet,
How I feel i don't expect the world to understand it,
Because for over 26yrs the world has demanded,
Everything I could possibly give!,
Leaving me with barely enough to live,
I wonder?
If this all life is,
The STRUGGLE decorated by the entertainment and show biz,
That created a young man afraid to show his,
SOUL!,
And share it with a society,
That wouldn't even say hi to me,
When I walked by,
So I chose to get high,
So I could fly over people, that never looked at me as equal,
Over the land that created the Willie Lynch part 3 sequel,
Over an education that forced feeds matter that is fecal,
Over the three fifths compromise,
Over the poor mans demise,
But it's so hard to ignore the poor mans cries,
Even while high in the skies,
I wonder?,
If I did my part to the poor man rise,
Will it matter if the poor man never tries,
For himself?,
I wish them good fortune and great health,
But what is it worth if they don't realize the wealth of SELF?

The Gift And The Curse

The gift and the curse: being connected to the universe but born on earth,
Trapped on this planet since birth with inhabitants that barely know their own worth!,
Tell me what's worse,
A joyful pain or a bliss that hurts?
This planet has restrained me somewhere in between,
And it reflects what my eyes have seen,
I now see clearly with no visine,
My eyes focused and my vision is keen,
Even through the foggy haze,
Thats created by the smoke and fueled by the blaze,
Of the fire that burns my neglect and praise,
Sparked by my transition to the next phase,
When you cross a crossroad you have to look 4 ways,
I was stuck in the same spot....looking for 4 days,
With an expression on my face best describe as s daze,
That's when the crossroad morphed into s maze,
And whatever sanity I had left morphed into a craze,
Believe you me if gets lonely on those days!