School Dazed and Confused

My future is like a riddle and I'm somewhere in the middle of a the present and a past that I belittle,
Because I'm now better than I was..but one day I'll be better than I am,
I question...why live for the moment when I can own it?!,
How does one live in a world that made him disown it?!,
Picture that plight with an image from the Hobble Satellite..and then you just might, see a vision of me making the decision..to not go to college despite craving knowledge,
FUCK IT...the board of education left me bored of education and only taught limitation (dot dot dot exclamation) point made,
So after the 12th grade I began to feel betrayed, by the teachers who downplayed the slave trade...not to mention the true effects of colonization and gentrification (SHITS REAL),
Aspects of life that I had to learn on my lonesome, common sense is dying so it's dangerous to loan some,
The blind lead the blind BUT the deaf lead the dumb,
I'm committing social murder 'til my eyes go numb from crying puerto rican rum, shed by a puerto rican living in the slums,....who had a set of bleeding eardrums, from the lies and propaganda,
That over conditioned me like a bad perm and taught my to bury myself like a new born worm, by blindly reproducing like an airborne germ,
Some say it's just me and I'm looking for a handing out,
I say...the mentally poor can never afford to stand out,
Monetarily broke but morally rich...it would be easy for me to say life is a bitch...but she's not (well..ehh..she is and she's not),
Life isn't a bitch because I don't own an expensive yacht, or I never got to stroll down a red carpet feeling like a big shot,
Life is a bitch because what I need is what i don't got,...please - allow me to explain even if it's in vain, that simple act is a part of what keeps me sane,
The inner-city is at the bottom of the food chain, of resources across ameriKKKa the so called beautiful whose only a beauty-to-a few!