Soft Spoken Appreciation

Life is a gift I've yet to open, due to losing most of people I had hope in, which created a pool of tears for me to soak in, it's aftermath is every word I've ever spoken,
It may be dented but my will is never broken,
I bend but never break because I bake after I wake,
If not for Mary Jane I mighta turned into a snake because I'm sick of ramen noddles when my hunger craves a steak,
A devil in search of an angel cake..entrapped tied up and burn at the stake,
You see...for light to be noticed gotta surrounded by the darkness,
Love is lovelier when you surround it by the heartless,
When certain aspects of life are like hit or miss, and I've missed more than I've hit so I can't help but reminisce, on the days that felt like they were bliss...while living through Miss-fortune and Mister desperation,
Mind fucked...skip the foreplay and masturbation,
Mentally incarcerated what's the point in recreation?!,
Unless it's for the re-creation of the nation, that's fucking the population..without a single drop of lubrication,
How does one occupy an occupation?!,
While living in a civilization that isn't civil, it's no wonder so many shrivel going crazy like their heads are on a swivel,
It's a fight to stay sane just like Abel and Kane because it's driving me insane that there's no room for my lane, and not enough space in the sky for my mental plane,
The subways are crowed so my train of thoughts bombarded,
If life is a race I have yet to start it,
Each obsticals a test so I'll study and smart it, because..,.
For these last 27 years I've been living in the past, barely seeing the present...let alone a present, despite being gifted,
(WHAT IF)
I was to re-gift the gift...that left me feeling cursed?!, would I and the recipient be better off or worse?!,
I yearn to change the world but it must want to want to change first,
Down pours on my parade every page is submersed,
I'm writing under water..my mind is too deep,
Every time I dream I risk drowning in my sleep,
Then swim through a hidden temple to expand my mental!

Ramblings Of A Madman Pt. 4

My thoughts are immortal and my mind is like a portal..to another dimension,
Please pay full attention...this HUEman flesh is only an extension, to being I call ME!!
A whirlwind energy stemming from my inner qi,
From the Yings to the Yangs...everything is connected, piecing together this vision that is reflected...of the world and how our actions effect it,
GOOD KARMA...I'm striving to collect it, despite my labors fruits so often being neglected,
I'M STARVING and appetite rejected - a reality the media perfected then projected...worldwide,
I object with ounce of intellect that I possess,
It's less of how I dress and more of how I express...that I'm a verbal acrobat clearing obstacles with finesse, my total lines written is how much I bench press,
This vocabulary I carry is never monetary...it weights in the metric tons - so fuck your extra funds and your pockets if their rotund,
Far from 'hatin' I'm just livin off the basics,
Further from free..we ALL livin in the matrix,
Fast food nation I too am a member of, aint life a bitch when you just can't remember love...steaming up from a cooked meal,
While yearning for a book deal..cause grossing my age in the thousands - shit gets real,
Living from check to my best friends check back to my check...you'll only understand that if you've in my position,
When dreams and goals fail to provide nutrition,
(Tell me)..have you ever tried to pay the rent with ambition?!,
Did you accept a proposition...when you realized you couldn't afford to pay tuition?!,
Is a victim a victim after they grant permission?!,
Or are they then a participant...actively taking part in their own destruction,
These are just a few thoughts while my mind state is under construction,
Soon...these thoughts will reach mass production - until then...await further instruction!!

I carry on

I'm so high my thoughts fly like a G6 and tend to intermix with the sticks and the stones..the smiles and the groans..the laughter and the moans..the payments and the loans..
Most days I swear life is rocky NO Stallone,
Speaking of boulders that would rupture both shoulders..of Tony Atlas,
Still, I carry on..knowing the difference between a sprint and a marathon,
My life is like a game of chess without a single pawn that I could call upon,
With what I consider the future at stake..surviving off the living I create, from my portion of the crumbs biweekly falling off the cake...that I wanna to have and eat to,
Dog eat dog world..but what if no one wanna eat you?,
That's when you know you can barely get any lower and I'll be standing still if I was moving any slower,
Man fuck it, I carry on..knowing the difference between a sprint and a marathon,
So many foreign lands I wanna see and traits I wanna learn to be..all the while living the definition of free,
So..I gotta carry on!!

Piece Of Mine

Learned my own lessons to become my own instructor,
Multiple trains of thought I think need my own conductor,
I speak of freedoms and see faith as her obstructor,...tradition is her abductor,...the constitution fucked her,
I live on a land where they say we all free all in still I need six separate forms of ID...just to get an ID,
Man...I-D-clare I wear a mental trauma worse than any warfare,
The dapper don draped in an elegant despair, so bright you could lose your eyesight if you dare..stare at this rare breath of fresh air,
I live life on the humble in a concrete jungle where daily it gets harder not stumble,...but my balance is impeccable, my choices are selectable, the truth I speak delectable, the lies easily detectable, my opinion inflexible, respect is so respectable,
My minds frame has been impossible to tame since the day I became...more than a social number and a given sir name,
More than a statistic in a world so sadistic...that it's not uncharacteristic for the sane to go ballistic,
Tread lightly when you ask me what I'm thinking of...chances are I'm scaling the fence of HATE or LOVE,
In defense if you say that I'm out of...the very mind that I've grown to be proud of,
Feeding it until it becomes obese from a truth filled feast...would you like a piece?!,....food for thought - COOK FOR YOUR DAMN SELF,
Damn self...thank you for turning down that mental fast food,
I season my own thoughts and bake my emotions...deep fry my nightmares and steam my devotion...

False Prophets

How does one feed a greed..whose hunger overpower a need,
How can a leader lead if in his heart he begs and pleads...to follow,
Just another sheep dressed in his herder clothes..who chose to superimpose, the limelight but the second it got bright..he froze!!

Shooting Stars of Aspiration

Every time a shooting star falls out of grace, it's up to one of US to rise an take it's place,
In my case...I've risen but I've fallen,
Tired to ignore the callin found a cave and tried to crawl in,
I hid with my short comings and chilled long desires..which extinguished internal fires,
So sick of empty promises from full blown liars,
That my heart slammed shut..you couldn't open it with pliers,
Tried cutting my loose ends but couldn't find all the wires,
I prostituted ambition but couldn't find any buyers,
Use to fein for hope but couldn't find any suppliers,
Fuck!!...I'm just a HUEman that aspires to be great before the date - that he expires,
But the stone cold truth is that I'm at the rock bottom - of life's totem pole,
When all I want to do is touch more souls then those who make soles..in Seoul, Korea
When Martin had the dream he gave me an idea,
Then Malcolm helped me put it into practice,
Still waters running deep like the inside of a cactus,
At the very least my foundation is stable, which is more then I can say for luxuries like having cable, it's always on and off like my asthmatic cough,
I'm a Spartan it was really called three hundred and one,
Survived and walked like a warrior from here to the sun,
That shines on my father who ignored his only son, thirty something days after my life had just begun...

Be a man...

Who will feed your fam if you don't, who'll teach your son to be a man if you won't,
(In my case) my grandfather did everything that he could do, but in all actuality it was more than he should...of had to do,
I was fortunate - you know one of the few that had a righteous father figure to look up to,
But it didn't last for long...G-Pops was well off in his years, soon after I felt the pain that was hurting my peers,...of not having a man there through the toughest years - of life, teaching me self respect and how to choose a wife,
You'd be amazed by the shit I had to learn on my own, like..how to turn a project apartment into a happy home, - even when the rents late,
For lack of dead presidents call me Lorenz Tate,
Can you relate to this irate slash at times neglected mind state...of wanting to ask my father, "motherfucker why mate..how could you procreate then ignore what you create?!?",...be a man!!