From My Point Of View

Check it...freedom of choice isn't free will it's more like a free pill - prescribed to the masses addicted to green house gases, stealing the water out of half filled glasses...so they can make their grasses - greener,
If only my air was a little cleaner, this pollution is altering my demeanor...for the meaner,
The transition from a dreamer to a volatile screamer,...has been a bumpy road to say the least,
Urging me to release a beast that refuses to be policed,
My thoughts served my ego a feast...catered by a pride that once I presumed deceased, and each waiter was dressed like a high priest,
This can't be me...there must be something in the air,
I'm almost in my 30's and I just became aware, that life is many things but one thing it isn't..is fair,
A famous rapper said that life was like a beach chair,..but to me life is like a beach where...I'm running out of sand and can't find anyone share,
Sound familiar?!...like anyone to care!,
...I mean I have a few and I appreciate their there, but from time to time they don't have a grain of sand to spare,...which leaves me in despair,
Yes,..I know I need repair - but tell me who the fuck doesn't?!,
The world said it was there for me I told it that it wasn't!!,
Tell me who knows better than I..better yet tell me who knows better then MY eyes that produced every tear I cried,
The world wasn't there on those lonely nights, followed by early morning mental fights,
So I day dreamed...in other words I took a mental flight, the knowledge I absorbed began to train my mental mite..then I used the herbals to increase my mental height which kept my mental screws tight,
As brave as a knight..the night before a battle, I can't ignore being treated like cattle...where the blind are leading the blind on a journey to find, the slightest memory in hopes to remind...them of their own humanity, because this way of life is riddled with insanity...one would have to be insane to understand,
Woe be to those afraid to grab the upper hand,
The crazy shit is..some believe it's all gods plan, to have every HUEman race divided into clans, for further than a HIStory that spans..the trans..-Atlantic slave trade..paving the way for the ameriKKKa which we all see today,<--that's a brief synopsis..of why I think the way I do,
Peek through the windows of my soul and see the world the way I do,
My actions only explain half of what I do,...in other words there's s chance intent won't be the outcome,
So FUCK a reason for living when so many live without one!!

School Dazed and Confused

My future is like a riddle and I'm somewhere in the middle of a the present and a past that I belittle,
Because I'm now better than I was..but one day I'll be better than I am,
I question...why live for the moment when I can own it?!,
How does one live in a world that made him disown it?!,
Picture that plight with an image from the Hobble Satellite..and then you just might, see a vision of me making the decision..to not go to college despite craving knowledge,
FUCK IT...the board of education left me bored of education and only taught limitation (dot dot dot exclamation) point made,
So after the 12th grade I began to feel betrayed, by the teachers who downplayed the slave trade...not to mention the true effects of colonization and gentrification (SHITS REAL),
Aspects of life that I had to learn on my lonesome, common sense is dying so it's dangerous to loan some,
The blind lead the blind BUT the deaf lead the dumb,
I'm committing social murder 'til my eyes go numb from crying puerto rican rum, shed by a puerto rican living in the slums,....who had a set of bleeding eardrums, from the lies and propaganda,
That over conditioned me like a bad perm and taught my to bury myself like a new born worm, by blindly reproducing like an airborne germ,
Some say it's just me and I'm looking for a handing out,
I say...the mentally poor can never afford to stand out,
Monetarily broke but morally rich...it would be easy for me to say life is a bitch...but she's not (well..ehh..she is and she's not),
Life isn't a bitch because I don't own an expensive yacht, or I never got to stroll down a red carpet feeling like a big shot,
Life is a bitch because what I need is what i don't got,...please - allow me to explain even if it's in vain, that simple act is a part of what keeps me sane,
The inner-city is at the bottom of the food chain, of resources across ameriKKKa the so called beautiful whose only a beauty-to-a few!

What is compassion?!

What is compassion in the face of desperation?,
Does it mirror justice arm and arm with legislation?,
Or the aftermath of culture battling assimilation?,
What's the outcome...when it's more than the income?,
Losing often while trying to win some,
Striving not to succumb to the feeling of being numb - to the trials that are trying every day of my existence,
Creating calisthenics for this heart facing resistance,
Seeking social assistance never minding the distance,
I'm marching towards the moon with hopes of finding consistence,..just to tame the feelings I suppress and every thought I repress.,
No crying over spilled milk...even success can become a mess if the person doesn't address, their lack of an ability to asses...their own character flaws overlooking the clause..to their own contract until they lose contact with the people they impact,
Standing on thin ice the second before it cracked, life smacked me with a reality check...that bounced because misery stopped by unannounced.

Dreams

Procrastination is a lifestyle not only just a word,
If you don't believe me ask every dream ever deferred,
Some speak in different languages with words I never heard,
Some of the dreams were stubborn and refused to be deterred,
I met dreams in debt to Sally Mae and Freddie Mac,
Some dreams were strict and wouldn't cut an inch of slack,
Then there's the dreams - whose dreamers were addicted to crack...,
First hand I've seen hoop dreams deflated..destroyed then recreated,
I've seen dreams baited..go stale and outdated,
Myself nowadays I sleep a lot but rarely dream, so pardon if I rely on every dream I've ever seen..to quite every scream and see right through every scheme,...dreams!!

Soft Spoken Appreciation

Life is a gift I've yet to open, due to losing most of people I had hope in, which created a pool of tears for me to soak in, it's aftermath is every word I've ever spoken,
It may be dented but my will is never broken,
I bend but never break because I bake after I wake,
If not for Mary Jane I mighta turned into a snake because I'm sick of ramen noddles when my hunger craves a steak,
A devil in search of an angel cake..entrapped tied up and burn at the stake,
You see...for light to be noticed gotta surrounded by the darkness,
Love is lovelier when you surround it by the heartless,
When certain aspects of life are like hit or miss, and I've missed more than I've hit so I can't help but reminisce, on the days that felt like they were bliss...while living through Miss-fortune and Mister desperation,
Mind fucked...skip the foreplay and masturbation,
Mentally incarcerated what's the point in recreation?!,
Unless it's for the re-creation of the nation, that's fucking the population..without a single drop of lubrication,
How does one occupy an occupation?!,
While living in a civilization that isn't civil, it's no wonder so many shrivel going crazy like their heads are on a swivel,
It's a fight to stay sane just like Abel and Kane because it's driving me insane that there's no room for my lane, and not enough space in the sky for my mental plane,
The subways are crowed so my train of thoughts bombarded,
If life is a race I have yet to start it,
Each obsticals a test so I'll study and smart it, because..,.
For these last 27 years I've been living in the past, barely seeing the present...let alone a present, despite being gifted,
(WHAT IF)
I was to re-gift the gift...that left me feeling cursed?!, would I and the recipient be better off or worse?!,
I yearn to change the world but it must want to want to change first,
Down pours on my parade every page is submersed,
I'm writing under water..my mind is too deep,
Every time I dream I risk drowning in my sleep,
Then swim through a hidden temple to expand my mental!

Ramblings Of A Madman Pt. 4

My thoughts are immortal and my mind is like a portal..to another dimension,
Please pay full attention...this HUEman flesh is only an extension, to being I call ME!!
A whirlwind energy stemming from my inner qi,
From the Yings to the Yangs...everything is connected, piecing together this vision that is reflected...of the world and how our actions effect it,
GOOD KARMA...I'm striving to collect it, despite my labors fruits so often being neglected,
I'M STARVING and appetite rejected - a reality the media perfected then projected...worldwide,
I object with ounce of intellect that I possess,
It's less of how I dress and more of how I express...that I'm a verbal acrobat clearing obstacles with finesse, my total lines written is how much I bench press,
This vocabulary I carry is never monetary...it weights in the metric tons - so fuck your extra funds and your pockets if their rotund,
Far from 'hatin' I'm just livin off the basics,
Further from free..we ALL livin in the matrix,
Fast food nation I too am a member of, aint life a bitch when you just can't remember love...steaming up from a cooked meal,
While yearning for a book deal..cause grossing my age in the thousands - shit gets real,
Living from check to my best friends check back to my check...you'll only understand that if you've in my position,
When dreams and goals fail to provide nutrition,
(Tell me)..have you ever tried to pay the rent with ambition?!,
Did you accept a proposition...when you realized you couldn't afford to pay tuition?!,
Is a victim a victim after they grant permission?!,
Or are they then a participant...actively taking part in their own destruction,
These are just a few thoughts while my mind state is under construction,
Soon...these thoughts will reach mass production - until then...await further instruction!!

I carry on

I'm so high my thoughts fly like a G6 and tend to intermix with the sticks and the stones..the smiles and the groans..the laughter and the moans..the payments and the loans..
Most days I swear life is rocky NO Stallone,
Speaking of boulders that would rupture both shoulders..of Tony Atlas,
Still, I carry on..knowing the difference between a sprint and a marathon,
My life is like a game of chess without a single pawn that I could call upon,
With what I consider the future at stake..surviving off the living I create, from my portion of the crumbs biweekly falling off the cake...that I wanna to have and eat to,
Dog eat dog world..but what if no one wanna eat you?,
That's when you know you can barely get any lower and I'll be standing still if I was moving any slower,
Man fuck it, I carry on..knowing the difference between a sprint and a marathon,
So many foreign lands I wanna see and traits I wanna learn to be..all the while living the definition of free,
So..I gotta carry on!!

Piece Of Mine

Learned my own lessons to become my own instructor,
Multiple trains of thought I think need my own conductor,
I speak of freedoms and see faith as her obstructor,...tradition is her abductor,...the constitution fucked her,
I live on a land where they say we all free all in still I need six separate forms of ID...just to get an ID,
Man...I-D-clare I wear a mental trauma worse than any warfare,
The dapper don draped in an elegant despair, so bright you could lose your eyesight if you dare..stare at this rare breath of fresh air,
I live life on the humble in a concrete jungle where daily it gets harder not stumble,...but my balance is impeccable, my choices are selectable, the truth I speak delectable, the lies easily detectable, my opinion inflexible, respect is so respectable,
My minds frame has been impossible to tame since the day I became...more than a social number and a given sir name,
More than a statistic in a world so sadistic...that it's not uncharacteristic for the sane to go ballistic,
Tread lightly when you ask me what I'm thinking of...chances are I'm scaling the fence of HATE or LOVE,
In defense if you say that I'm out of...the very mind that I've grown to be proud of,
Feeding it until it becomes obese from a truth filled feast...would you like a piece?!,....food for thought - COOK FOR YOUR DAMN SELF,
Damn self...thank you for turning down that mental fast food,
I season my own thoughts and bake my emotions...deep fry my nightmares and steam my devotion...

False Prophets

How does one feed a greed..whose hunger overpower a need,
How can a leader lead if in his heart he begs and pleads...to follow,
Just another sheep dressed in his herder clothes..who chose to superimpose, the limelight but the second it got bright..he froze!!

Shooting Stars of Aspiration

Every time a shooting star falls out of grace, it's up to one of US to rise an take it's place,
In my case...I've risen but I've fallen,
Tired to ignore the callin found a cave and tried to crawl in,
I hid with my short comings and chilled long desires..which extinguished internal fires,
So sick of empty promises from full blown liars,
That my heart slammed shut..you couldn't open it with pliers,
Tried cutting my loose ends but couldn't find all the wires,
I prostituted ambition but couldn't find any buyers,
Use to fein for hope but couldn't find any suppliers,
Fuck!!...I'm just a HUEman that aspires to be great before the date - that he expires,
But the stone cold truth is that I'm at the rock bottom - of life's totem pole,
When all I want to do is touch more souls then those who make soles..in Seoul, Korea
When Martin had the dream he gave me an idea,
Then Malcolm helped me put it into practice,
Still waters running deep like the inside of a cactus,
At the very least my foundation is stable, which is more then I can say for luxuries like having cable, it's always on and off like my asthmatic cough,
I'm a Spartan it was really called three hundred and one,
Survived and walked like a warrior from here to the sun,
That shines on my father who ignored his only son, thirty something days after my life had just begun...

Be a man...

Who will feed your fam if you don't, who'll teach your son to be a man if you won't,
(In my case) my grandfather did everything that he could do, but in all actuality it was more than he should...of had to do,
I was fortunate - you know one of the few that had a righteous father figure to look up to,
But it didn't last for long...G-Pops was well off in his years, soon after I felt the pain that was hurting my peers,...of not having a man there through the toughest years - of life, teaching me self respect and how to choose a wife,
You'd be amazed by the shit I had to learn on my own, like..how to turn a project apartment into a happy home, - even when the rents late,
For lack of dead presidents call me Lorenz Tate,
Can you relate to this irate slash at times neglected mind state...of wanting to ask my father, "motherfucker why mate..how could you procreate then ignore what you create?!?",...be a man!!

W.age A.ppointed R.esources

Warm breaths..followed by cold heartbeats on these harsh streets, where reality meets - every letter my pen leaks, and my sanity greets everyone of my great feats - I ever scribbled on a sheet, creating a physical receipt...for everything my eyes ever paid for,
I don't mind working I just wish I made a little more,
Picture a life where the working poor, are slaving to maintain a petty status & decor...of higher standards then the people living next door,
Call it what you'd like but to ME thats WAR,
Where I...am on the front lines being bombarded by late fees and fines, social constructs that intend to undermine...the light this darkness forced me to shine while this economy spirals in a rapid decline...because this financial system is an artificial shrine, designed to confine - you - in a state impossible to align...with the universal energy I encountered as divine,
The death of all financial institutions is what I call a new age revolution,...for all born on the wrong side of prostitution - getting fucked by thee almighty dollar,
Making a living off the crumb that broke the roach back,
Some make a living off a crumb called crack provided by the government as they profit off the resources we lack,
Somedays I wonder why my asthma attacks...then I remember there are people in shacks - without a radio,
NEVER ignore the ratio...of that haves and the have nots,
As the haves sail the seas at 30 knots on luxury yachts....the have nots begin to organize & plot, for the demise of OUR oppressors who enslaved US in a melting pot,
These are diverse plantations and that's a serious allegation...but...don't blame me blame the tense relations - between the midget consumer and giant corporation, look no further for an explanation,
The time to act is NOW fuck an invitation,
It's time to RISE high fuck a limitation,
Cementing my foundation fuck a fluctuation,
Becoming one of one with the earths rotations and conversing with the earths vibrations...but not like the ones that effected every Haitian - those were man made,
To keep thee enslaved and poor people afraid, and to show US that even during a disaster...somebody will get PAID!!!!

High Hopes

I proclaim this order is disorder as I trespass over each imaginary border,
In a land where you can barely drink the water...unless you'd like a dose Floride, plus you can't hide...it flows through your plumbing no matter where you reside,
That's why my civic pride died - on the day I was denied the simple right to decide,
Therefore...since my third eye opened I have yet to let it blink in a world whose inhabitants are to lazy to think,
I put two and two together and think outside of the box that once restrained me with physiological locks, that were tougher than escaping out of two Fort Knox,
Now I'm banging on the system - when most people are too afraid to knock, all in still they mock me cus I won't flock...to the next trend designed to raise a company's stock,
And even worse they criticize the moment you begin to rise,
Now I'm forced to improvise with high hopes to stay wise - while time flies, knowledge is being draped in a disguise and even worse..taught to mimic lies,
So my ears now decipher the cries but my eyes remain on the prize,
Which is less like a prize - more the way I want to live - but first I had to learn to GIVE a fuck again,
That last line might be the realest shit I've ever penned or typed out before I pressed send,
As I document this journey to not only ascend but universally transcend...
Pardon if my stubborn ways left you offended...after all that wasn't what I intended,
As far as life goes I've just begun to comprehend it - with high hopes - that my time on earth can somehow be extended!!

Love Crime

It hurts to be a part of relationship that's doomed from the very start, all because you fell in love with a broken heart that when pieced back together resembled fine art,
If only there was contraception for petty deception,
Torment and Bliss...I've outlined they're connection, then I realized that they were linked together by affection,
Whether never shown or over applied,
I remember when my hands would glaze and glide over her body as I dried every tear she ever cried,
With that said - when she asked me if I loved her...I lied!!,
The NO that I replied was created by a pride I had yet to push aside,
I've been down this lonely road so many times, luckily for me there's not a penitentiary for love crimes,
I'd be sitting on loves death row reaping for the seeds I never got a chance to sow, maybe because people rarely got a chance to ever know the persona I had to learn to rarely show,
Even so...I wonder how much I owe for quid pro being my status quo,
In all reality a snakes skin sheds slow...oh!...to me be the woe!!

VENTING!!!

(Exhale) I'm working re tail and trying pre vail,
So..certain goals vanished others just went stale,
Overdue bills in the mail, begging to overwhelming and derail a mentality that is NOT frail - despite traveling down the life trail at the pace of a small snail,
But...like the tortoise gaining ground on the hare,...I progress,
(Harsh fact) first I must address the issues that I came across when I chose to assess, these thoughts my mind would tend express...while in a state of solitude,
(Perhaps) in order to feel renewed - I gotta learn to exclude how I see myself from the manor that I'm viewed,
(Basically) I don't mean to be lewd, but fuck the worlds opinions and all lies spewed,
Marinating in deception...we've all been stewed - with underpaying jobs and processed food,
(Zombies) ask me why I chose to have a barcode tattooed, I reply "Because your subdued!",
Here's a jewel for you - GET YOUR EYES UNGLUED,...from from the tv screen before you reek of a movie scene that we've all seen,
We all know the endings...no need to state them,...
I'll never fit the mold of a lead actor and maybe that was the underlining factor...to why I once became a subservient detractor,
Tell me who the fuck knows?!?!,
If you ever find them ask them why the wind blows,...and see if they can answer that!!

Epiphany

Drunk Emotion Sober Intent

Intoxicated with desires...YET...Sober in satisfaction - so certain days I look at life as a distraction,
Wanted dead or alive by every law of attraction,
A fugitive of love who started to lose traction,
On what little HUEman interaction that remained, and those only survived because they were maintained,...better yet chained to a heart that was once restrained and borderline drained,
Leaking....I stained - every shirt I ever wore, because I wear my heart on my sleeve...even after it tore,
I felt like an eagle who couldn't soar, or a lion who couldn't roar,
A pioneer with nothing new to explore,
Perhaps that can account for the civil war - between my heart and mind,...both for years have refused to align,
Luckily for me this war is benign,
It's outcome will help refine and define me,
Until then...you'll know where to find me!!

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

Recycled Love

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