From My Point Of View

Check it...freedom of choice isn't free will it's more like a free pill - prescribed to the masses addicted to green house gases, stealing the water out of half filled glasses...so they can make their grasses - greener,
If only my air was a little cleaner, this pollution is altering my demeanor...for the meaner,
The transition from a dreamer to a volatile screamer,...has been a bumpy road to say the least,
Urging me to release a beast that refuses to be policed,
My thoughts served my ego a feast...catered by a pride that once I presumed deceased, and each waiter was dressed like a high priest,
This can't be me...there must be something in the air,
I'm almost in my 30's and I just became aware, that life is many things but one thing it isn't..is fair,
A famous rapper said that life was like a beach chair,..but to me life is like a beach where...I'm running out of sand and can't find anyone share,
Sound familiar?!...like anyone to care!,
...I mean I have a few and I appreciate their there, but from time to time they don't have a grain of sand to spare,...which leaves me in despair,
Yes,..I know I need repair - but tell me who the fuck doesn't?!,
The world said it was there for me I told it that it wasn't!!,
Tell me who knows better than I..better yet tell me who knows better then MY eyes that produced every tear I cried,
The world wasn't there on those lonely nights, followed by early morning mental fights,
So I day dreamed...in other words I took a mental flight, the knowledge I absorbed began to train my mental mite..then I used the herbals to increase my mental height which kept my mental screws tight,
As brave as a knight..the night before a battle, I can't ignore being treated like cattle...where the blind are leading the blind on a journey to find, the slightest memory in hopes to remind...them of their own humanity, because this way of life is riddled with insanity...one would have to be insane to understand,
Woe be to those afraid to grab the upper hand,
The crazy shit is..some believe it's all gods plan, to have every HUEman race divided into clans, for further than a HIStory that spans..the trans..-Atlantic slave trade..paving the way for the ameriKKKa which we all see today,<--that's a brief synopsis..of why I think the way I do,
Peek through the windows of my soul and see the world the way I do,
My actions only explain half of what I do,...in other words there's s chance intent won't be the outcome,
So FUCK a reason for living when so many live without one!!

School Dazed and Confused

My future is like a riddle and I'm somewhere in the middle of a the present and a past that I belittle,
Because I'm now better than I was..but one day I'll be better than I am,
I question...why live for the moment when I can own it?!,
How does one live in a world that made him disown it?!,
Picture that plight with an image from the Hobble Satellite..and then you just might, see a vision of me making the decision..to not go to college despite craving knowledge,
FUCK IT...the board of education left me bored of education and only taught limitation (dot dot dot exclamation) point made,
So after the 12th grade I began to feel betrayed, by the teachers who downplayed the slave trade...not to mention the true effects of colonization and gentrification (SHITS REAL),
Aspects of life that I had to learn on my lonesome, common sense is dying so it's dangerous to loan some,
The blind lead the blind BUT the deaf lead the dumb,
I'm committing social murder 'til my eyes go numb from crying puerto rican rum, shed by a puerto rican living in the slums,....who had a set of bleeding eardrums, from the lies and propaganda,
That over conditioned me like a bad perm and taught my to bury myself like a new born worm, by blindly reproducing like an airborne germ,
Some say it's just me and I'm looking for a handing out,
I say...the mentally poor can never afford to stand out,
Monetarily broke but morally rich...it would be easy for me to say life is a bitch...but she's not (well..ehh..she is and she's not),
Life isn't a bitch because I don't own an expensive yacht, or I never got to stroll down a red carpet feeling like a big shot,
Life is a bitch because what I need is what i don't got,...please - allow me to explain even if it's in vain, that simple act is a part of what keeps me sane,
The inner-city is at the bottom of the food chain, of resources across ameriKKKa the so called beautiful whose only a beauty-to-a few!

What is compassion?!

What is compassion in the face of desperation?,
Does it mirror justice arm and arm with legislation?,
Or the aftermath of culture battling assimilation?,
What's the outcome...when it's more than the income?,
Losing often while trying to win some,
Striving not to succumb to the feeling of being numb - to the trials that are trying every day of my existence,
Creating calisthenics for this heart facing resistance,
Seeking social assistance never minding the distance,
I'm marching towards the moon with hopes of finding consistence,..just to tame the feelings I suppress and every thought I repress.,
No crying over spilled milk...even success can become a mess if the person doesn't address, their lack of an ability to asses...their own character flaws overlooking the clause..to their own contract until they lose contact with the people they impact,
Standing on thin ice the second before it cracked, life smacked me with a reality check...that bounced because misery stopped by unannounced.

Dreams

Procrastination is a lifestyle not only just a word,
If you don't believe me ask every dream ever deferred,
Some speak in different languages with words I never heard,
Some of the dreams were stubborn and refused to be deterred,
I met dreams in debt to Sally Mae and Freddie Mac,
Some dreams were strict and wouldn't cut an inch of slack,
Then there's the dreams - whose dreamers were addicted to crack...,
First hand I've seen hoop dreams deflated..destroyed then recreated,
I've seen dreams baited..go stale and outdated,
Myself nowadays I sleep a lot but rarely dream, so pardon if I rely on every dream I've ever seen..to quite every scream and see right through every scheme,...dreams!!

Soft Spoken Appreciation

Life is a gift I've yet to open, due to losing most of people I had hope in, which created a pool of tears for me to soak in, it's aftermath is every word I've ever spoken,
It may be dented but my will is never broken,
I bend but never break because I bake after I wake,
If not for Mary Jane I mighta turned into a snake because I'm sick of ramen noddles when my hunger craves a steak,
A devil in search of an angel cake..entrapped tied up and burn at the stake,
You see...for light to be noticed gotta surrounded by the darkness,
Love is lovelier when you surround it by the heartless,
When certain aspects of life are like hit or miss, and I've missed more than I've hit so I can't help but reminisce, on the days that felt like they were bliss...while living through Miss-fortune and Mister desperation,
Mind fucked...skip the foreplay and masturbation,
Mentally incarcerated what's the point in recreation?!,
Unless it's for the re-creation of the nation, that's fucking the population..without a single drop of lubrication,
How does one occupy an occupation?!,
While living in a civilization that isn't civil, it's no wonder so many shrivel going crazy like their heads are on a swivel,
It's a fight to stay sane just like Abel and Kane because it's driving me insane that there's no room for my lane, and not enough space in the sky for my mental plane,
The subways are crowed so my train of thoughts bombarded,
If life is a race I have yet to start it,
Each obsticals a test so I'll study and smart it, because..,.
For these last 27 years I've been living in the past, barely seeing the present...let alone a present, despite being gifted,
(WHAT IF)
I was to re-gift the gift...that left me feeling cursed?!, would I and the recipient be better off or worse?!,
I yearn to change the world but it must want to want to change first,
Down pours on my parade every page is submersed,
I'm writing under water..my mind is too deep,
Every time I dream I risk drowning in my sleep,
Then swim through a hidden temple to expand my mental!

Ramblings Of A Madman Pt. 4

My thoughts are immortal and my mind is like a portal..to another dimension,
Please pay full attention...this HUEman flesh is only an extension, to being I call ME!!
A whirlwind energy stemming from my inner qi,
From the Yings to the Yangs...everything is connected, piecing together this vision that is reflected...of the world and how our actions effect it,
GOOD KARMA...I'm striving to collect it, despite my labors fruits so often being neglected,
I'M STARVING and appetite rejected - a reality the media perfected then projected...worldwide,
I object with ounce of intellect that I possess,
It's less of how I dress and more of how I express...that I'm a verbal acrobat clearing obstacles with finesse, my total lines written is how much I bench press,
This vocabulary I carry is never monetary...it weights in the metric tons - so fuck your extra funds and your pockets if their rotund,
Far from 'hatin' I'm just livin off the basics,
Further from free..we ALL livin in the matrix,
Fast food nation I too am a member of, aint life a bitch when you just can't remember love...steaming up from a cooked meal,
While yearning for a book deal..cause grossing my age in the thousands - shit gets real,
Living from check to my best friends check back to my check...you'll only understand that if you've in my position,
When dreams and goals fail to provide nutrition,
(Tell me)..have you ever tried to pay the rent with ambition?!,
Did you accept a proposition...when you realized you couldn't afford to pay tuition?!,
Is a victim a victim after they grant permission?!,
Or are they then a participant...actively taking part in their own destruction,
These are just a few thoughts while my mind state is under construction,
Soon...these thoughts will reach mass production - until then...await further instruction!!

I carry on

I'm so high my thoughts fly like a G6 and tend to intermix with the sticks and the stones..the smiles and the groans..the laughter and the moans..the payments and the loans..
Most days I swear life is rocky NO Stallone,
Speaking of boulders that would rupture both shoulders..of Tony Atlas,
Still, I carry on..knowing the difference between a sprint and a marathon,
My life is like a game of chess without a single pawn that I could call upon,
With what I consider the future at stake..surviving off the living I create, from my portion of the crumbs biweekly falling off the cake...that I wanna to have and eat to,
Dog eat dog world..but what if no one wanna eat you?,
That's when you know you can barely get any lower and I'll be standing still if I was moving any slower,
Man fuck it, I carry on..knowing the difference between a sprint and a marathon,
So many foreign lands I wanna see and traits I wanna learn to be..all the while living the definition of free,
So..I gotta carry on!!